All boys and girls must have rules and limits in order to develop properly. It is the only way in which they can feel safe in their life and above all, enjoy a childhood where they find that the rules and limits are part of a whole. Rules and boundaries are the path they must follow and they will know at all times what their adult referrals expect of them each day.
Many parents set the rules and limits in the wrong ways: yelling, rudely, and trying to impose fear on young children. But it is not necessary to be so drastic, because in reality, if you want to do things well, you can impose the same rules and limits throughout the game … without the need to generate conflicts of any kind.
Set rules and limits from the game
It consists of parents being able to propose the rules to their children as if it were a game. First, they will have to keep a number of things in mind, because if they don’t, then they may not get anything. Some recommendations to consider are:
- Younger children will be more accepting of rules when they receive them through play.
- Children should have good trust with their parents.
- Parents need to have the patience and time to get it right.
- Parents must trust themselves and what they are doing.
Set limits as if it were a game
You may now think, what kinds of steps are necessary to be able to set rules and limits for children? Here are some that can be adjusted to your needs and family interests. You will be able to establish rules and limits throughout the game taking into account the following:
- Set the norm and limit. For example: “You have to speak more quietly.”
- Clearly explain the limit you impose. Remember that it is important that you always expose it positively because in this way they will receive the norm in a much more optimal way and will not reject it out of the box.
- Repeat the rule. You can repeat the rule as many times as necessary until you make sure that your child has understood it correctly. Once the norm or limit is formulated in a positive way and the children have understood it, you should tell them to repeat it 3 times singing (in a funny way) with their voice or imitating someone who is interesting to them (such as a character or a famous person) . In this way, if the child is having fun while you explain the rule to her, she will be internalizing in a much more positive way what you want to teach her and what you want her to be able to achieve.
- Set consequences. Like any rule or limit, it is necessary to establish consequences if the rules are broken. These consequences must be well explained to the children. It is important that children understand the rules, but it is also imperative that they understand what the consequences are if they break them. It is better to do it through a game, for example with a brainstorming session in which everyone collaborates to think about the consequences that may arise if the established rules are violated (and that they are logical consequences regarding the limits).
As you can see, the education of your children does not have to be simply “order and command”. Children can collaborate in the choice of rules and consequences. The important thing is that they do it in a fun and entertaining way so that in this way, they better internalize everything that is being demanded of them without understanding it as an imposition.